Ohhh, my noggin. What has happened? I took a whallop upside the head and woke up in a place far from my time and home. Instead of it being the modern era of 1877 like it ought to be, I am in the distant past of England’s Dark Ages! There are mighty warriors in gleaming armour, and beautiful ladies wearing colourful gowns with taffeta secured dunce caps. This is the castle Camelot! I am in the company of King Arthur and his majestic Knights! Golly, can you imagine? Me, Ichabod Temperance, … [Read more...] about The Title of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
The Seventh Voyage of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
“Leapin’ lizards, Miss Plumtartt, we’ve got big trouble, really big trouble!” “Indeed, Mr. Temperance, for unethical experiments carried out in this remote locale, somewhere south of Nippon, have left this Monstrous Isle aswarm with uncanny creatures of titanic dimensions, eh hem?” “Yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am, and if we ain’t careful, one extra jumbo-sized mega-reptile is going to run rampant all over our unsuspecting planet!” “Then let us gather what comrades we may, however unlikely … [Read more...] about The Seventh Voyage of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
The Measure of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
“...Moan...” “Are you well, Mr. Temperance?” “Hunh? Oh, yes, Ma'am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma'am, it's just that since we find ourselves stranded on this voodoo-drenched Carribean island, I thought it might be a good idea to practice acting like a mobile corpse, cause it's looking like we are up to our armpits in dead folks walking. My suspicion is that they're wanting to snack on our gray matter.” “Indeed, Mr. Temperance, for I fear that if you, I, and our compatriots are not successful on this … [Read more...] about The Measure of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
In a Latitude of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
"Gee, whiz, Miss Plumtartt, these here are sure enough an odd assortment of characters you and I have run up with." "Indeed, Mr. Temperance, and at the risk of disclosing any 'spoilers' for our dear readers, I suspect that we have allowed ourselves to fall into the clutches of a Nosferatu brood." "Nosfer-who-who?" "Nosferatu, Mr. Temperance, undead fiends that gain sustenance be slaking their unnatural thirsts on the manna of the living." "Oh my Goodness! You mean we are prisoners of a bunch … [Read more...] about In a Latitude of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
A Study in Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
"Gee, Miss Plumtartt, after our calamitous arrival on this unsuspecting city, do you think we are still under threat of imminent murder by gangs of assorted, yet stylish, assassins?" "I say, I do fear this to be the case, Mr. Temperance. The machinations of intrigue are not unlike one of your ingenious spring-driven contraptions,sir. Yes, plots boil and swarms of suspicious characters are at our every turn, eh hem?" "Yes, Ma'am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma'am. It's a good thing we have enlisted the … [Read more...] about A Study in Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
For the Love of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
"Golly, Miss Plumtartt, the Earth is getting pummeled with meteorites!" "I say, if only these projectiles were organically based, Mr. Temperance, I would not be of such a troubled mind, but I fear that the flaming flotsam are revealing themselves to be warcraft from the planet Mars. Their weapons are uncanny and easily defeat the greatest of Terras resources. These invaders wish to strip our beloved planet of her native sovereignty!" "Holy Red Planet Invaders, Miss Plumtartt, you're right! I … [Read more...] about For the Love of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
A World of InTemperance by Ichabod Temperance
"I say, Mr. Temperance, you would do well, sir, to be more aware of the world around you. The clamour of war threatens to engulf the globe. Moreover, I confess a trepidation in my soul stemming from other quarters in this galloping age of invention. I feel certain that we are at risk from threats of a supernatural origin. Do you not agree, eh hem?" "Yes, Ma'am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma'am. I have the same sense of nameless dread gripping my pumper in it's icy grip. Why, it looks as if you and I have … [Read more...] about A World of InTemperance by Ichabod Temperance
A Matter of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
A "Hello, is anyone there?" "This is Ichabod Temperance transmitting from the year 1875." "Do you read me?" "Oh my Goodness, we've got trouble, y'all!" "Ever since that strange comet passed our world, not only have there been more than just an overwhelming amount of steam and spring inventions popping up all over Earth, but there also have been uncanny monster sightings! Well, almost sightings, as these inter-dimensional, over-legged, eyeball-clustered beasties are nearly invisible to the … [Read more...] about A Matter of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
