“I say, Mr. Temperance, you would do well, sir, to be more aware of the world around you. The clamour of war threatens to engulf the globe. Moreover, I confess a trepidation in my soul stemming from other quarters in this galloping age of invention. I feel certain that we are at risk from threats of a supernatural origin. Do you not agree, eh hem?”
“Yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am. I have the same sense of nameless dread gripping my pumper in it’s icy grip. Why, it looks as if you and I have uncovered a conspiracy to plunge all the world’s countries into mayhem and disaster, leaving the spoils of a conquered planet to the tender mercies of heartless tyrants using means inhuman to rain their sway. I’m glad we have the companionship of a telepathic doggie, a tin-man, and all sorts of other entertaining folks to see us through this peril for I think we might be in for a lot of trouble!”
Targeted Age Group:: Teen and up.
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
I do not feel as if I did a good job giving life to my support characters in the first book. I was determined when I wrote this one, that I would make better use of my secondary characters. I enjoyed giving them more depth.
How Did You Come up With Your Characters?
Most of the characters in this book are based upon my friends on the website, ‘The Steampunk Empire’. Even though I have only met them in a virtual sense, I have been able to make them real in a bigger than life manner.
Book Sample
“Those are two very capable ladies, I think,” Wolfgang says admiringly. “Zey may be able to help.”
“Better to count on a man of experience and expertise. Meself for example. If this great big world were in trouble, why I’d be just the man I’d come looking for to help us out.”
“Lunzatic,” grumbles my bearish mate.
I am miffed at my partner’s lack of appreciation for my numerous and heroic qualities.
“It truly is difficult to be humble,” I sniff, I sniff does I, “when you are burdened with the responsibility of looks, brains, charisma, athleticism, depth of character, an honest heart, giving and nurturing nature, as I strive to make everything around me a better place for my having trod upon it; the ladies especially. The bounty of my genetic greatness I have done all in my power to share…”
“Enough! Okay! Okay! You are zee hot shot Super Secret Agent, ja? Vell how about these assassins being set upon us?”
“Zoinks, that’s right! Those Sheilas were put on us, without a doubt. They were hired by the Syn-dicate.”
“Sin-dicate.”
“That’s what I said.”
“Votever.”
“The time has come. I really do have to take you into my confidence, Metzger.”
“I am in this up to mein stuedaltops. So, confide already.”
“Uh. Yeah. I’ll check in, then. I guess.”
“Check in? Do you actually have a real person that you check in vith? This eez not imaginary play agent?”
“I wish he was.”
Metzger does not know what it is like to answer to the ‘Commodore.’ I am not looking forward to the experience.
“It’s time for you to make contact with my handler.”
“Handler? Handler? Vots eez handler?”
“I’m a spy Wolfie. You know, Secret Agent, espionage, beautiful women in exotic locations. Well, I have to have a boss that gives me all my fantastic assignments, right?”
“Ja. I suppose that makes sense.”
“Of course. So, the next step is to signal for a meeting.”
I take my secret agent in training down to the beach. We wait until the top secret appointed time.
“Keep watch out on the water, Wolfie.”
“Okay, but quit calling me that. Mein name ist Wolfgang.”
“Okay, Wolfie, stay focused. Keep looking. You see anything yet?”
“Ja! I see a fishing trawler. Seems pretty undercover to me.”
“Nahh. That’s silly. Keep looking. You see anything yet?”
“Ja! James! Ja! A periscope! It must be connected to a submersible wessel. This must be our contact!”
“Nahh. Too obvious. Keep looking. You see anything yet?”
“Ja! An inflatable raft full of black clad soldiers!”
“Nahh. Probably just a weather balloon. Keep looking. You see anything yet?”
“Ja. Some whales they are cresting zee ocean, majestically spouting great geysers. Proudly they proclaim their existence. I feel a closer affinity with this Earth, knowing I share mein oxygen with these awe inspiring creatures. Maybe this is what you would have me out here searching the waters for.”
“Nahh. Too mushy. Keep looking. You see anything yet?”
“Ja. Some dolphins.”
“Krikey! Why didn’t you say so! That’s it! Let’s go!”
My sub-par sidekick rows his heroic mentor out into the cold waters of Kuetinpeenk Bay.
“About here I should think. Now, Metzger, this is a very high ranking officer. Behave yourself and don’t do anything to embarrass me!”
“I am always on mein best behaviors, und I have alvays held the military in the highest esteem.”
“He’s coming. Just sit there and be quiet.”
“Jay-ay-ay-ay-mes! Eh-eh-eh-eh! Jay-ay-ay-ay-mes!”
“Who say zat!”
“Sah! Secret Agent James Murray ree-por-ting! Sah!”
“Let’s ha-ha-ha-have it, Mur-ur-ur-ur-ray! Eh-eh-eh!
“Vos ist los! A talking fish! Zee incredible Mr. Limpzen?”
“Shhh! You’ll get me in trouble! Besides, he’s a mammal, not a fish!”
“Who-who-who-do-you-have-with-you-Ja-ay-ay-ay-ay-ames!”
“Sir! Temporarily Deputized Civilian Auxiliary Augmentation as purloined by means of this Agent’s own in-itiative, Sah!”
A dolphin, somehow able to sport a grim visage, holds himself vertical and stationary by means of the powerful work of his tail.
“Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh–eh-eh–eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-status!”
“ROIGHT! Sah! Commodore SilverQuarter! Sah! You may be dismayed at the intelligence as gained by this operative. Sah! It appears that an insidious underground organization of super villains, plots to push an already teetering world over the brink and into a war that shall encompass the Earth, resulting in the death of most, if not all of humanity. Sah! Goal of world domination confirmed. Sah! Supernatural element confirmed. Sah! Every nation on Earth, packed to the gills with war-making arsenals. Sah!
“Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-Proposals!”
“ROIGHT! Sah! A Diversion! Rush in and disable everybody’s ships while no one is looking.”
“Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-DO-Ih-Ih-Ih-Ih-Ih-Ih-Ih-Ih-Ih-Ih-Ih-IT!”
“Sah! Yes, Sah!”
Commodore SilverQuarter blows a blast of water in my face in salute.
Promising not to let the imposing officer down, I return the salute smartly, stamping me feet together and putting meself straight through the bottom of the boat.
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