When psychic medium and semi-recluse, Geraldine Stanley, realises that she’s still single just three months before her thirtieth birthday, she agrees to allow her flatmate, top relationship coach, Ben Wright, to coach her into meeting the man of her dreams. She’s sure that with his much talked about skills as the country’s most celebrated love-coach, he’ll effortlessly guide her into the perfect love-match. But Ben has never seen a twin-flame checklist before, and Geraldine is unwilling to settle for anything less than the other half of her soul. Geraldine is quickly caught up in a whirlwind of supervised dating assignments, but only her past life regression therapist, a restless ghost, and a collection of psychic friends know the real reason she has never found ‘the one’. A metaphysical rollercoaster ride, full of modern humour, spiritual teaching, and philosophical questioning.
Targeted Age Group:: 18+
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
I was inspired to write this book as a result of having a huge crush on someone. It seems ridiculous now, but that’s basically what happened. I met him while I was in Cyprus for a few months, and as soon as we met, there was an instant connection. All kinds of synchronicity seemed to appear throughout every meeting between us, and I remember that for ages I was convinced he was my twin flame. But I was called away by some family matters back home in London, and didn’t really have a chance to develop things further. I think it was during a subsequent visit, possibly years later, that he happened to mention that a friend of his was thinking of renting her house out, and he was thinking of moving in… might I be interest in a house share!???!! Well, at the time, I think I’d also been hoping (purely by chance you understand) to move to the exact location of the house, (okay, and to the town he lived in – in a totally non-stalker-ish way of course!) and it all just sounded amazing, However, it never happened. But the idea of flat mates, destiny and twin flames all somehow came together in my mind and sparked my imagination in a really exciting way. The idea of not being able to see something that’s right under your nose. The complexity of twin flame relationships, and the energies around them – helpful or unhelpful. Karmic ties, past lives, the vagaries of dating for the spiritually minded person. And that was it: Ben and Geraldine were born.
How Did You Come up With Your Characters?
They just sort of found me somehow. I knew they both had to be hot, modern, driven, but also deeply sensitive and caring. Just two very good and kind people, who were determined to make a difference in the world. Wounded healers who’d had a bit of a rough time in relationships, and desperately wanted to heal that pain in others.
The rest was inspiration, listening and laughing as they shared their story with me.
Ben took a deep breath. He was tired of seeing her like this. He was tired of seeing both of them like this, but he was sure he could help at least one of them. “If you believed that I could help you, I mean really, help you. I mean, if I promised that I could help you to find the perfect guy before you turn thirty, would you be, at least, willing to talk about this?”
Geraldine stared at the locked, back door for a second or two, then back at Ben. Even if she could find the key quickly enough to get away from him, where would she be running to? He’d certainly come after her, and any escape could only be short-lived. Suddenly, escaping through the back-door seemed eerily symbolic of her current approach towards her entire, emotional life, and she knew with all her heart that running away from the country’s top relationship coach was as good as saying, there’s no hope for me, ever! She collapsed back into her chair, grabbing an unopened bottle of wine from the coffee table on her way back. What did it matter anyway? If he couldn’t help her it would be just another night, just another chat with Ben, just another one of their fun but fruitless battle-of-the sexes, mutual moaning sessions with nothing lost. But if he could help her, …then her life was about to change, miraculously, and just in time for the dreaded birthday.
“Okay, then, give it your best shot. Show me what you’ve got.”
“What, all of it?! Honey, I don’t think you could handle it.”
“Ugh!! Ben!! Stop messing about…” Geraldine cringed slightly. It was so weird when Ben flirted with her. Funny, but just, plain, weird.
“Okay, let’s get serious about this,” He said, disappearing into his room for a second, and returning with a notepad and pen in hand, ready to begin his coaching drill.
“Oh no,” she said, wincing slightly. She’d forgotten all about his legendary thoroughness.
“It’s okay, just a few probing questions.” He said, unhelpfully. She glared at him through narrowed eyes. “I’m joking! Look I already know practically everything about you anyway. Those walls are quite thin and your voice carries a lot more than you think it does.”
“Ugh,” She said, looking away in disgust. Not that anything noteworthy ever happened between those walls.
“Look, this is just to get to the bottom of what it is you’re looking for why, you haven’t found it yet and how you can change that.” He said, succinctly. It certainly sounded harmless enough, and she was beginning to have trouble standing anyway, so she decided to just slump back into her chair and simply refuse to respond to anything too probing. “Okay, so what are you looking for?” he said, pen poised expectantly over pad.
“What do you mean? A man, of course…”
“Yes but what kind of man?” Geraldine rolled her eyes. “Look, if you’re not going to do this properly, we’re just wasting our time here, aren’t we? If you want to get a different kind of result to the one you’re currently getting, there’s going to have to be a bit of a change in attitude here.”
“Okay, okay.” Geraldine was a bit taken aback. She’d never seen Ben like this before, so focussed; it was cute. It certainly made her sit up and take notice. She could see now why he had the no-nonsense reputation he’d earned over the years. “Okay then, but first I have a confession to make…”
Ben sat forward in his chair and leaned in closer. “Good, this sounds like progress already. A confession is always a precursor to some kind of breakthrough…”
“Promise not to laugh though.” He sighed, and gave her a look that was so full of compassion she knew she could probably tell him anything at that moment, and he would listen with the deepest respect and understanding. She shook her head and sighed. Oh, he was good. No doubt about it. “Okay, I’ve got this…list.” She almost whispered.
“Great! A list is a great idea! See, this is gonna be so easy with you. You’d be surprised how many people don’t even have a list. Okay, go get the list” he said, pushing his shirt sleeves up, rubbing his hands together and then running them through his hair in what (for most women) would probably have been a maddeningly attractive gesture.
“Okay, great.” she said, eyeing him warily. “So.. okay, while it’s great that you’re okay with the idea of a list….and that’s reassuring…. So far so good.. you have to promise not to laugh at the list itself when I bring it out. Okay?! I mean, this is not your regular, run-of-the-mill list…”
Ben sighed. “Gerry, do you know how many lists I’ve listened to over the years? Believe me, yours will not be funny.” Geraldine jumped up and rushed to her room, feeling excited and terrified all at once. She was about to finally get help. But she was also about to open up to Ben, in the process, in a way she’d never dreamed she’d have the courage to. She was about to and share with him a new level of weirdness that went deeper than those even he had witnessed in her so far. It was too late. She was in too deep now, and even the room seemed to be moving around and sort of… spinning in agreement…beckoning her to take action.
When she returned, Ben was scribbling furiously. “Hey, I haven’t even been in the room. What could you possibly be writing!?”
“Just some background notes, I’ll show you later. Okay, lay the list on me.” He said, as she carefully placed a carved wooden box onto the table. He tried hard not to smirk, when he noticed on closer inspection, that it seemed to be engraved with tiny hearts, stars, angels and fairies.
Geraldine watched him closely, daring him to comment, but he said nothing. Choosing instead to simply bite his bottom lip and blink hard. “Oh just stop it ‘Mr. Bring it on’; you’re still single.” She said, opening it up slowly, to reveal a purple, satin lining which lovingly held a single sheet of folded, purple notepaper. She gently unfolded it, and handed it to him with reverence. “You have to read it, I can’t read it out loud; it feels too weird.” She said, hiding her face in her hands momentarily. Ben scrutinised the sheet of paper for a second, before beginning to read a list, some of which looked to him like gobbledygook written in an impressive gold ink. Nevertheless, he read it out loud, patiently, as Geraldine listened, cringing ever so slightly.
Twin Flame Checklist
• Sense of familiarity, as if you’ve always known each other
• Similar tastes in aesthetics, clothes, people and food.
• You have similar beliefs and share an interest in similar causes. You are here on the same Divine mission and work for the benefit of humanity in similar or complementary ways.
• Telepathy and deep empathy: feeling as if you each, always know what the other person is thinking and how they’re feeling.
• You may have difficulties to overcome, for example, you might be from different backgrounds or belong to difference races and have your love tested through having to prove how willing you are to overcome barriers in order to be together. Or there might be deep, emotional issues to work through from a long karmic history you both share, as a result of several lifetimes together.
• You have a natural affinity and might even look alike. Even if you are from different backgrounds and look very different, there will be a clear similarity in your expressions, smiles, ways of speaking, levels of intelligence and discernment i.e. how you show up in the world, almost as if you’re both from the same, mysterious planet.
• You seem to have been brought together by coincidences, hunches or, even, Divine intervention. Your meeting seems fated and inevitable and the universe seems to have endlessly conspired to bring you together.
• You may, each, have a feeling that you would do almost anything to see the other person happy, even if it meant losing them to someone else
• When you argue, you always know that you have both grown and evolved as a result
• You are best friends and the most passionate lovers all rolled into one
• You know that you could easily spend the rest of your lives loving each other
• Whatever temptations, threats and doubts might come your way, even through disagreements and fall-outs, the strength of your eternal connection lets you both know that, in the end, when all is said and done, there is simply no one else you could possibly belong with.
• When you’re with them, it’s like coming home
As Ben progressed through the list, Geraldine began to stare wistfully into the distance, occasionally sighing, sniffing, inhaling deeply, exhaling meaningfully and nodding knowingly. When he finished reading the list, however, Ben was completely baffled.
“Okay, I actually think I only understood about three of those points. Can you explain the rest to me please?” Geraldine wondered for a second whether he might be making fun of her, but they were always making fun of each other so there was no point getting all huffy about it now. She’d bravely come this far, and this was not the time to start being coy. “I mean why would you want there to be barriers to you being together, exactly?”
“It’s not that I want them, Ben; that’s just how it is with twin flames sometimes…” she said, tailing off slightly, and seriously beginning to regret the whole, humiliating episode.
Ben prided himself on being patient and respectful in these situations. It was always important to try to honour the client’s world-view, however quirky it might seem. And besides, there was still lots there to work with! “Okay” He said slowly. “You’re going to have to explain to me what this twin-flames thing is.”
Geraldine sighed; this was not going to be easy. “Right, okay, well the idea is that, okay, I believe that, okay, well, some people might say that…. well okay-I-read-somewhere-that…”
Ben nodded patiently and tried to follow what she was saying. Geraldine took a deep breath and jumped. “Okay… at the very beginning of our coming into being as individual consciousnesses, when we first began our incarnations as separate souls rather than just being a part of this single blob of creative consciousness and possibility – God-Consciousness, if you like.” Ben didn’t like. It was all too intangible and weird. Geraldine continued heroically. “..each one of us was also split, further, into two halves, so that we could grow more, learn more…about love and life and longing and…about ourselves and each other I suppose….or… whatever…ugh.” This was truly tiring. This was definitely a mistake. Ben was just too much of a pragmatist for all this. How could she possibly expect him to get a handle on something so…nebulous? What had she been thinking?!!
“O…kay,” Ben was absolutely serious as he continued to listen. “That’s a very beautiful story.” Geraldine clenched momentarily, slightly irritated by his interpretation of the entire twin flames paradigm as a ‘story’, but encouraged slightly by the fact that he at least seemed to be almost taking her seriously … Well, okay, he wasn’t laughing.
“O……kay…” She continued, carefully. “Well anyway, your twin flame is your other half, your perfect match, your soulmate but, no. It’s bigger than just a soulmate; they’re really a part of you…you know?”
“Okay,” said Ben trying to get some kind of grasp of the situation. “So this is what you’ve basically been going on, all these years? This is what you’ve been looking for?” Geraldine could tell he was trying really hard not to sound judgmental but was finding it all very difficult to understand. It was probably the bit about them being ‘a part of you.’ Coaches never liked that kind of talk…too co-dependent. In fact, he was probably thinking, right at that moment, just how cringe-makingly co-dependent it all sounded. Maybe he was even wondering how to break it to her gently that no one else could complete her, or some other such 3d psychobabble nonsense, missing the point completely. Maybe even being slightly scared for her, like she was some kind of needy flake, some misguided, love-sick, co-dependent dumb-ass. Ugh. This was just a bit too much exposure now.
“I knew you wouldn’t get it.” She said, feeling indignant, but also just a bit too tipsy to be bothered to defend anything. She just didn’t want to be made fun of. It might have been that thought, or the alcohol, or the fact that she suddenly saw herself as she must look through his eyes, or the sudden awareness that she was searching for an impossible dream, or the fact that she’d so often questioned her own sanity for even wanting it… or perhaps it was the ever-present thought that she was not only going to be single at thirty but perhaps for the rest of her life! Whatever it was, Geraldine was suddenly weeping loudly, as she began to release years of frustrated longing.
Ben reached out instinctively, as the tears began pouring out of her troubled face.. He didn’t see her cry very often and when he did, it made him feel very uncomfortable. “Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he said, rubbing her arm affectionately, as she quickly grabbed a handful of tissues. His heart skipped a beat as he took in her perfectly smooth mahogany skin and the fine features and bones it covered, her full lips and the cascading, black locks that framed her tiny face in a way that made her eyes and cheekbones look even more striking. He just couldn’t understand why she couldn’t see what he did.
“It’s just impossible, isn’t it? I know it is… Even I know it’s impossible. I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m full of crap. I just have this silly, stupid idea that it’s real. Am I nuts, Ben? Am I insane to want this?”
“No, of course you’re not insane.” Ben had seen enough crazy over the years to know what crazy was. In fact, he wasn’t even sure he believed in the notion of crazy anymore. ‘Crazy’ had just too often proved to be euphemistic for courageously sane, and sane had too often turned out to be conformity and stultification in disguise. So for the sake of his own creativity and mental health, he preferred to operate outside the traditional paradigms of madness and lucidity, whenever possible.
“I just can’t let go of this dream. When I think about being with someone just …ordinary, who’s not my twin flame, I get so frustrated, because I just don’t want to compromise. I can’t compromise. Not when I feel with every fibre of my being that this is real. That this person, this single, unique person exists out there somewhere and is waiting for me, wanting me to keep waiting, keep looking… Until I find him, because no one else will ever be right for me…ever.”
Ben could hear the frustration building. He didn’t know what to do with it. “I just know there’s someone special, someone in particular, my perfect, Divine complement. And I know with all my heart, that I have no choice but to wait for him…however long he takes to get here. I really do, Ben, and I don’t want anything or anyone else, I really don’t, and where is he!!! Why isn’t he here, yet?? Oh God!! I’m gonna be thirty!!! And I know it’s not old but, it feels, so, old….Oh God, I’m such a mess. I’m sorry Ben. I know you’re trying to help me, but, don’t you see… there’s just no hope for me. You’re the best person at doing this, in the country, probably in the world and even you can’t help me, even you think I’m nuts. I’m nuts aren’t I?”
Ben looked at her worried face, and wrestled with himself again. How honest could he really allow himself to be? Geraldine was her own worst enemy, there was no question about it. She was gorgeous, bright, fun to be with, caring and absurdly generous …to everyone but herself. Yet, in all the time he’d known her, he’d never once seen her with a decent guy, not for long, anyway. The decent ones were all given their marching orders, within a few dates, for being either too boring, too controlling, too young, too old, too perfect, even. He’d hardly been able to believe his ears when he’d heard that one! Too perfect!! “Too good to be true. There must be something wrong with him; I just haven’t found it yet.” !
The fact was, that she was obviously terrified of commitment, just in case she got hurt again by some guy like Andrew who, as it turned out, hadn’t even known how to spell the word commitment, and certainly didn’t know how to make or keep one. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he was that there seemed to be an ex like Andrew in every woman’s past. The one that got away, but who first made sure to take a backward glance or two in order to be absolutely certain that, before leaving, he’d managed to turn a good woman really bad, or to at least made sure that any future guys would have to work very, very hard to get even a little bit close. Geraldine had, unfortunately, not managed to escape the rogue ruination, and now all the guys she really went for were losers, as far as he was concerned and, of course, safely unattainable. What a catch, an unattainable loser. Ben felt his heart melting as he watched her fall apart.
“Aw, honey, you’re not nuts, you’re beautiful. The rest of the world is nuts, not you. You keep your dream. Never stop having dreams, no matter what. No one else has to understand them, except you. And do you want to know something…?”
“What,” Geraldine, sniffed, dabbing at her nose and daring to glance up at him.
“I think everyone has that dream, secretly, it’s just that very few of them has the guts to admit it. And even fewer have the courage to keep believing in it, and that makes you very, very special.”
“Absolutely. And I’ll tell you something else: what you’ve got on that list isn’t really so far-fetched …at all. You can easily, easily find that guy, and I’m going to help you to do just that.
“Really, Ben…you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
“Gerry, all you’re looking for is a feeling of real connection, with someone who won’t let you down. You could find a guy who gives you all of those feelings, in a few weeks, I’m sure of it. In fact I will guarantee you, that if you still haven’t found him three months from now, on the day of your thirtieth birthday, I’ll marry you myself!”
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