Moving Abroad: The Mental & Emotional by Diana Firican
Decided to move to another country? This is the Guide for you.
You’ll be guided step-by-step through the preparation of the move, the actual move and accommodation in the new country.
The other two Smoovster Master Guides are:
• Moving Abroad: The Essentials
• Moving Abroad: The Important, but Hidden
In this third extensive Smoovster Master Guide, Moving Abroad: The Mental and Emotional, find out how to:
• Manage your emotional roller-coaster before and after the move
• Understand your and your family’s key needs and how to fulfill them timely
• Nurture your relationships with the dear ones you take with you or leave behind
• Mitigate the risks of moving to a new country
• …and many more
“Really good! There’s no program out there like this. I recommend Smoovster to everyone, no matter where you come from or where you are moving to.” Lavina Jethani., India to Canada
“It’s complete. It covers everything, even aspects I had no idea about. And I like the checklists, they’re very user friendly and practical.” Klara Boboc, prospect Romania to New Zealand
Is this you?
• You are an educated person who wants to move abroad… and you don’t have a clearly lay-outed plan for your move
• You’ve found overwhelming amount of information, but it’s scattered… and would like a structured “1-stop-shop” guidance for your move
• You don’t know what your most efficient next steps are… in order for you and your family to be fully prepared, from logistically & financially to emotionally for your move
You’ll be accompanied by:
• Detailed and comprehensive explanations
• Extensive and user-friendly checklists
• Easy move tracking exercises
• Real stories and useful tips from immigrants who’ve moved abroad successfully
• Very useful and country-specific online resources
… all in this second Master Guide of the Smoovster series.
Use this Guide to avoid expensive mistakes, save time with your planning and get rid of your stress and overwhelm. Enjoy the feeling of having everything in grip and… simply become the expert of your move, for you, your family and anyone around you who wants to move!
The aim is to make the move to another country easier, faster and cheaper and to make sure that you know everything there is to know in order for you to have a successful preparation, move and integration in the country of your choice.
Targeted Age Group:: All audiences
Heat/Violence Level: Heat Level 1 – G Rated Clean Read
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
In 2013, I moved to Canada and this is was one of the hardest, but at the same time most enriching experience of my life. Overwhelmed by the logistical preparation of the move, underestimating the emotional impact of being away from family and starting from scratch in a new and unknown culture, I understands at the deepest level the challenges of an international move, away from one’s home country.
This is why I created the Smoovster program: to support people moving to a new country have a smooth move, from all perspectives: administrative, logistical, financial, social, mental and emotional. Enjoy a thorough, yet user-friendly and empathetic guidance in the most complete Guide you’ll find on moving to another country.
Let's do this!
Being Aware of the Emotional Stages of a Move and Empowering Ways to Deal with Them
The large majority of people moving abroad goes through the same emotional stages.
Nevertheless, the stages are not set in stone: one may skip a stage, go through the stages in cycles, alternate between two stages for a longer period of time. Furthermore, every person goes through the stages at his or her own pace. These stages are normal, so allow yourself to feel them without guilt or shame and, if it helps, share them with others.
By understanding these stages, you will be able to reach the desired state of stability, content and happiness in a much more accelerated way.
Emotional stages before leaving
Excitement and hope
The first time the idea of moving to another country comes to your mind, it brings up a lot of excitement and seems to be the best solution to all of your struggles, the best way to satisfy your (and your family’s) needs. The idea of a new beginning, new opportunities, new life lifts you up and gives you hope for a better future. Have you felt that yet?
Suggestion: Allow yourself to be enthusiastic, as this will create the momentum for you to start the process. Use the power of this emotional state to take your first actions toward to move, e.g.:
□ Identifying your Why
□ Writing the Letter to Yourself
□ Deciding on the destination or on your 3 must-haves of the location (see Smoovster Master Guide: The Essentials for the exact process)
□ Diving into your research right away.
This is a wonderful state to be in. Use it to your advantage!
Organization and contentment
Once you slowly start preparing for the move, beginning your research, not feeling time pressure of any kind, you still feel detached from the actual move. You are happy with your progress, with the new information you learn and with the clarity you gain gradually over the process of moving. Things seem doable and under control.
Suggestion: Take as much time as you need to for this stage. Plan time to allocate to your research (as clearly indicated in Smoovster Master Guide: The Essentials). Allocate 1 hour daily or 3 hours weekly or more, to ensure you are moving forward and not just dreaming about moving. The more you enjoy this stage AND ‘milk’ this stage, the better, because it will substantially reduce your…
Once you have set a deadline or move date and have taken concrete steps towards moving, i.e. started the application process, looked for jobs and places to live, thought about what options to have to deal with your belongings, etc., maybe you’ve realized that this process is more complex than you’ve expected.
The more you advance in the process, the more you find out what needs to be taken care of. You feel you will never be able to take care of everything and that you will definitely miss something, but, if you think about it, every “project” has this phase at a smaller level, even planning a vacation trip, studying for an exam or organizing a wedding.
Suggestion: This is one of the phases where the Smoovster templates will be of immense support, guiding you through, step-by-step, so use the FREE documents available on www.mymoveguide.com:
□ Smoovster Step-by-Step Move Plan with Checklists
□ The Budget Template
The big leap is built out of small, smart and purposeful steps!
Panic and fear
As you progress in the process, reality sinks in and you realize that the move is really happening. Suddenly all the potential consequences of this initiative become vivid and you might even imagine the worst-case scenarios.
You understand at a deeper level that a move will bring a significant change in your life and the life of those around you. You know your intentions are good and your hopes are for the best, but that there is lot of unknown and you cannot control the outcomes in their entirety.
That’s normal and it’s OK. It is just a sign that your body, mind and heart want you and your family to succeed, overcome any challenges and have a smooth move. Just by reading the Smoovster Master Guides you’re way ahead of the game.
1. Acknowledge that this stage is important and normal, and is also a proof that you are committed to the success of your move
2. Do your due diligence, complete your research do the exercises, check-off the checklist items, follow the steps as suggested in the Smoovster Master Guides
3. Simply accept that once you’ve done your best, that’s all you can do and that life, no matter how much we plan, will bring in some surprises, good as well. What seems bad today, turns out to be a blessing tomorrow.
Go with the flow and trust that things happen for us, not to us.
Closely following panic and fear, you will start doubting your decision of moving. You will have second thoughts whether it was the best idea, given all the implications, and might have a tendency to back up and drop the preparations. We’ve all gone through this stage, most of us more than once. It is normal and human to have second thoughts, especially about such a big decision
Suggestion: At this point remember what your reasons were in the first place. Review your answer from the Chapter: “Your Why” from this Master Guide, as well as the “Letter to Myself”. Also, create back-up plans, as suggested in our first Master Guide: The Essentials. For example you might want to go on a sabbatical from your current work, so you have a potential job in case things do not work out, or you might keep the house you own or rent in your home country, if you decide to return after a period of time. Things of strategies to lower your concerns and worries, knowing that no matter what happens, you are covered to a certain degree.
There comes a moment, after the preparations start falling into place and your plans begin to line up, when you feel confident again: “I can do this”. You feel that you are (again) on top of things and you have a clear view of your timeline and to do’s. one by one your small successes, e.g. obtaining the visa, being invited to an interview for a promising job, closing a deal for your house or identifying a social circle that provided you with valuable information.
Suggestion: Trust that you will get to and be able to maintain this state, although along the way it might seem unlikely. Just keep up the good work you’ve been doing so far and give yourself a pat on the back for all the work you’ve done already. It is no easy thing what you’ve accomplished up to this point.
The decision to move is final by now and the preparations are to a large extent completed. There is one important aspect that needs to be taken care of: saying goodbye to the people in your life.
At Smoovster, we support the idea of a farewell party, combined with get-togethers in smaller groups or even individual ones, with closer friends (families). Although you will be busy right before moving away, take this aspect seriously. It reinforces how important these people have been, are and most importantly will continue to be in your life.
Suggestion: Commit to keeping in touch and even set-up regular online meetings or calls with them, before leaving. People back home represent an enormous emotional support for the ones moving abroad and there is no person we interviewed to advise against keeping contact with the people back in the home country. Please do not underestimate this aspect. Great further suggestions on this are to be found later in this book.
A closing note
Never put yourself down for the feelings you are experiencing. As mentioned several times throughout our Master Guides, moving abroad is stressful logistically, administratively, financially, socially, mentally, emotionally.
Become aware of what you are experiencing internally, do not repress your thoughts and emotions, may they be fear, anxiety, doubt, restlessness, sadness, or enthusiasm, joy, excitement.
Here are three potential sources of support:
□ Communicating these feelings to people who care about you
□ Feel free to seek professional help from an advisor, counsellor, therapist, psychologist
□ Talk to people who have gone through this experience for encouragement and validation of what you are going through
□ Use a Smoovster Coach to master-guide you through any stage you feel you need support in
In what phase are you now?
What are your actions with regards to the move? (research, applying for a job or house, announcing the people in my life bout my decision, etc.)
Emotional stages after landing
Also called the “honey moon stage” by some authors, this is when your new life keeps your spirits up. Novelty excites us as human beings. In the first days or weeks after landing you might even feel like you’re on vacation, while exploring the city, maybe trying out different venues, enjoying new experiences, seeing opportunity of a good life everywhere around you. You feel no pressure, while your budget is still at a level that allows you to not worry about it.
Suggestion: Enjoy this less pressured stage, by alternating between discovery and allocating time for the settling in, especially from an administrative and logistical perspective. We have included this in the Smoovster Step-by-Step Plan document (FREE on www.mymoveguide.com)
Fatigue and/ or frustration
So many new things all at once…
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