Embark on a journey of romantic self discovery in the first book of the “Authentic & Purposeful Relationships” series. You will explore common relationship woes, feelings and insights, allowing you to understand your place in romance. Whether you are single, committed, or just unhappy in love, this book is for you.
The book will review past and current patterns that were anchored within you from childhood, your personal relationships, and experiences of those close to you. Then, it will show you how to deconstruct the fears and myths keeping you from attaining a relationship that works for you.
Invest in your happiness by accompanying the author, Daniela Costea, through five chapters of romantic deconstruction and reconstruction. Through shared wisdom, real life experiences, and techniques presented to you in “Heal Past Heartache” , you will begin to break free from any heartbreak imprisoning you.
A Note From The Author: “I, too, have felt the heartbreak and loneliness that comes from both a lack of relationship and an emotionally unhealthy relationship. By way of research, introspection and reflection, I have conquered the mechanisms constraining romantic bliss. I wrote this book to share the useful strategies and knowledge applicable to your own life, creating more meaningful and empowering relationships.”
It is time to heal the wounds of the past, repair your romantic relationship ideals, and move forward to a happier and healthier love life.
Targeted Age Group:: 35-55
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
I have been inspired to write this 3-book series by my own life experiences in the field of personal growth.
I am also extremely passionate about romantic relationships and ways to improve our own love lives.
This world would certainly be a much better place provided that humans learn to create more inspiring and empowering relationships with themselves and become great partners, as a result.
Is the Past Really That Powerful?
I am simply fascinated by stories of people’s experiences and memories related to their love lives. I find it extremely useful and rewarding to look into the more intricate and deeper meanings of our childhood and adolescence years. By doing this, a lot of present misfortunes, frustrations, and unanswered questions will become easier to understand and solve.
I don’t know what your answer to this question would be, but I will definitely reply with a big fat “no” to the question I posted as a subtitle. The past doesn’t need to have such power over us and influence our present life. As a matter of fact, it could prove fairly harmless and powerless, unless we allow it to take over our minds.
What I know for sure and from my own experience is that, when things get rough, we have the tendency to go down memory lane to moments when life was easier and prettier (or so it seems to us now). These are the times you wish you were younger, healthier, or still living with your parents, being looked after and loved.
Although, if you dig deeper and try to be more objective with yourself and your past life as it really was, you will realize that not all of your memories are so good and joyful. The present is not all bad—it just seems negative and difficult to endure because you are going through a harder time than usual. Be patient and never give up!
The next story emphasizes the ideas above. It is an honest and raw account of the memories this person was able to bring to light with intention and focus as she analyzes and acknowledges her past.
“I have always had a distant relationship with my parents ever since I was a little girl and I came to live with them full-time when I started school (my grandparents raised me until I turned seven). Now we are even more distant, as there is also a geographical distance between us.
“I can recall a tense and troubled relationship between my parents. My father was abusive to my mother, but never to me, and this usually happened when he had too much to drink. My mother was the permanent victim, especially when she wanted to make peace between my father and me.
“Growing up with a dominant father and a submissive mother, I had no role models. All I wanted was to be the exact opposite of my mother. I am certain that I have inherited some of her good qualities, such as her calmness and warmth.
“What I, however, disliked most about my mother and totally disagreed with was her way of accepting her husband’s ill treatment toward her, and how she constantly assumed the position of a buffer zone.
“I used to feel the obligation to go visit them, although I didn’t really want to. Finally, last summer, I found a way to release myself from this chore and I went to see them on my own accord. This time, things were much better between us. I understood that not loving my parents doesn’t necessarily mean I hate them.”
Here is the exercise I mentioned at the beginning of the chapter. Be as open and honest as you can when you answer the questions below. Go over your notes from time to time, whenever something doesn’t feel right in your intimate relationships and you suspect it might have some connection to your past. Reviewing and internalizing your answers will greatly help and support you.
1. Did you live with both your parents, or with just one of them?
2. Did you grow up with a step-parent or in a foster family?
3. Did you have any siblings, or you were an only child?
4. What memories do you have of your parents’ relationship?
5. Did you have a favorite parent? If yes, who was he/she? What are your main reasons for making this choice?
6. What did you like most about your mother/mother figure?
7. What about your father/father figure?
8. What did you dislike about your mother?
9. What did you dislike about your father?
10. Did you consider your parents/caregivers to be role models for you? If yes, both of them, or just one? Elaborate more on this subject.
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