Jack Lugar, captivates readers with his down-to-earth humor in his comedy book featuring artists from Oregon to New York and some of the crazy things they have done to survive. The Starving Artist’s Diet is a humor telling about the perfect weight loss program. It’s the ideal gift for the recent graduate with tips on simply eating what you can afford. However, when living like an artist, that may mean you can’t afford very much.
Tucker Cawley, Executive Producer of Everybody Loves Raymond, says, “I sure could have used Jack Lugar’s helpful guide back when I was a Starving Artist. I used to steal pocketfuls of condiment packets from fast food restaurants. The employees knew what I was doing, but turned a blind eye because hey, it’s L.A. – they were Starving Artists too.”
Lugar writes from years of experience and is endorsed by Terrence Coli, Writer/Producer of One Tree Hill, 90210, and Switched at Birth. “I once watched Jack make a gourmet meal out of some Smucker’s grape jelly packets and Saltines. It was the best damn Thanksgiving of my life!.”
And what did Louie Anderson, Comedian and Author of Dear Dad, think? “So good I almost ate it.”
After reading The Starving Artist’s Diet, you’ll have the necessary tools to survive as an artist and have a good laugh. If you have an appetite for comedy and art, The Starving Artist’s Diet will leave you feeling satisfied.
Targeted Age Group:: 14 years and up.
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
If you can eat it, you can make a diet out of it. That’s what I did with The Starving Artist’s Diet. I found humor in the idea that artist who where scraping pennies really have the key to losing weight.
How Did You Come up With Your Characters?
I’m the only character, and I can’t seem to get rid of me.
Book Sample
Ah, yes. The joy of pre-made, lukewarm burgers, over-salted French fries, and refillable soft drinks. Fast food has long been a staple of The Starving Artist’s Diet. So many choices at such affordable prices.
I, myself, have been known to go weeks at a time eating only fast food. Is that possible? Of course it is. Is that healthy? No, but you’re a Starving Artist. Healthy eating is not your utmost concern. Remember? Besides, you don’t have a long life expectancy anyway.
Look, sometimes you just don’t have time to cook. You woke up at noon, and your first audition is at 12:45, half an hour away. What do you do? You quickly think through all of the different fast food joints on the way, pick one, drive through, and finish your meal while you’re looking for parking.
Or maybe you do have time to cook, but you don’t actually have anything to cook. The grocery store is so far away, and it’s not as if you want to grocery shop while you’re hungry. You have a budget to think about! Not to mention your diet. So you head over to the fast food restaurant whose glowing sign glares though your window late at night, which helps save on your electric bill because you’re usually up at 3:00 a.m. and often working. It also keeps the cockroaches at bay.
Once you’re at your favorite cookie-cutter franchise, you have some choices to make. In most cases this choice is between burgers, chicken, and fish on Fridays, but it can be more complicated when the restaurant’s selection includes tacos or roast beef.
Well, welcome to the world of Value and Combo Meals. That’s right. The best combinations have already been provided for you, and better yet, now you can order by number. (In most metropolitan locations, this is extremely helpful if you forget to bring your Spanish-English translator. Just how do you say Quarter Pounder in Spanish? If only John Travolta would have given us the Spanish and not the French. But I digress.) As everyone knows, Value/Combo Meals are the best way to get a full meal for the cheapest amount of money. Better yet, you could be able to make your meal larger for just nickels more with super-sizing or biggie-sizing or grande-sizing if they still exist, considering all the political and social pressure to abolish increasing the size of your Value/Combo Meal and ass. This political movement obviously has no regard for the Starving Artist.
If money is extra tight, don’t forget about dining selections for a dollar or less, which for most of us is still more than a dollar because of those damn taxes. Three burgers is a lot more food than a value meal and just as cheap. Some menus even offer a drink with free refills for a buck, so add that to your dollar burger and dollar fries and you’ll have a value meal for no more than three bucks… taxes not included.
You say how can you beat that? I’ll bet you can if you order a free water and get a couple cheapo burgers or tacos for under 75¢ a piece. Pretty good, huh? In fact, I had a five-layer burrito for only 89¢ the other day, and if my math is right, that’s only 17.8¢ per layer! Better yet, now there’s a place offering a two dollar value meal and, man, that makes me so happy, I could write a haiku.
The main thing to remember when you cross under the Golden Arches, make a run to the border, or go over to your girlfriend Wendy’s is to keep focused. Don’t let them suck you in with that, “Would you like fries with that?” or “How about adding an apple pie?” If it wasn’t already in your dining plan, JUST SAY NO! Where have you heard that before? (Sure you ignored it when the police officer came to your classroom and had everyone chanting “just say no,” but this time it’s important, so focus.) And you thought it would never come in handy. Come on, say it with me: “Just say no!” We’ll work on it.
If necessary, write your order down. As my dad always says, “A short pencil is better than a long memory.” Really, he says that. And the worst of it is that I find myself saying it too. We really do turn into our parents. Anyway, the point is plan ahead because nothing beats a good plan.
And, remember, best of all, smiles are free at most fast food joints, so stock up!
About the Author:
Jack Lugar is a former sitcom writer who traded Hollywood dreams for a normal Midwestern life. Jack teaches screenwriting and cinema studies at Taylor University and Anderson University and provides screenwriting consultations through http://www.hollywoodscreenwritingworkshop.com.
His first book, The Starving Artist’s Diet provides a humorous look at a mostly absurd form of dieting, eating what you can barely afford, while lampooning all the different diet fads. Jack’s second book, which he is co-writing with his wife Elisabeth, will be distributed in the summer of 2014. The book, Hollywood Break-In, provides a detailed account of not only how to land your first Hollywood job, but how to actually move to the West Coast and not be killed. It is a real action plan for those who have stars in their eyes.
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