About your Book:
Winner of the 2012 International Book Awards Gold Medal and the 2012 Living Now Awards Silver Medal, The Soulmate Experience has been called “A relationship guide masterpiece.” “A catalyst for transformation in life, relationships, and self.” “Inspiring, motivational, and truly remarkable.”
Single, in a relationship, or married: people of all walks of life and all ages are using the ideas in this revolutionary book to create and sustain relationships that are intimately connected on all levels—emotional, intellectual, sexual, and spiritual—and a continual source of love, inspiration, and joy.
In Part 1, “Creating the Love of Your Life,” chapters like “Loving Your Body,” “Reducing Your Baggage,” and “Raising Your Soulmate Potential” will help you release anything that might be preventing you from experiencing a deeply connected relationship.
In Part 2, “Keeping the Life in Your Love,” chapters like “Turning Expectations into Invitations,” “Transforming the Energy of Jealousy,” and “Connecting on a Soul Level” will give you everything you need to approach even the most challenging aspects of relationships in ways that deepen your experience of love and intimacy. You will discover the secrets to keeping the love, passion, and connection in your relationship fully alive—every single day.
Whether you’re on a quest for your soulmate, looking for deeper connection in the relationship you have right now, or just want to experience much more love in your life, the ground-breaking ideas in this book—and the many stories of real people putting them into practice—will fill you with love, inspiration, and possibility.
Targeted Age Group: 18-up
Genre: Love and Romance, Personal Growth and Inspiration
The Book Excerpt:
After living together for three years, Katherine and Alex found themselves in the therapist’s office. Katherine told the therapist that she often felt unheard and underappreciated. Alex said that Katherine frequently came across as cold and dismissive. They were both concerned that the passion between them was fading away, and they were growing weary of the constant effort of trying to make their relationship work. Katherine was even thinking of calling off their engagement.
The therapist suggested that the couple begin to address their feelings of disconnection by adding a simple routine to their lives. Every night before going to bed, they would each make a list of what they had appreciated about the other that day. Focusing on their appreciation for one another would only take a few minutes, she said, and would help keep their romance alive.
That evening, Katherine was eager to share her list with Alex. She excitedly read him ten ways she had felt appreciation for him that day. Then she looked up. “So what’s on your list?”
“Nothing,” Alex mumbled. “I didn’t make a list.”
Alex found he simply couldn’t express his gratitude on command. “I love Katherine, and there’s lots I appreciate about her. But being told I have to put that into words right now just paralyzed me.”
Feeling and expressing gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to enhance your relationship experience. If both partners enjoy setting aside time to share their appreciation for each other, it’s a ritual that will certainly strengthen their connection. However, in Alex and Katherine’s case, the suggestion inadvertently added another layer of expectation onto an already strained relationship. Along with that expectation, of course, came the usual frustration, guilt, and resentment.
True appreciation won’t arise out of expectation. If you hold an expectation that someone should appreciate you, that “expectation energy” actually has the potential to shut down the free flow of appreciation.
If scheduling time to share his appreciation for his fiancée won’t work, how might Alex learn to show his gratitude more often? He could start by paying attention to when he is naturally feeling appreciation for Katherine and get in the habit of expressing it right then.
Another common piece of advice for keeping a relationship vibrant is to establish a weekly date night. Couples devote one night a week to being together so they can concentrate on and enjoy their relationship. This is considered especially helpful for partners who feel their relationship is taking a backseat to their day-to-day responsibilities.
Spending quality time together can certainly help a relationship thrive, and many couples have found that establishing a date night helps ensure they get that time together. For others, though, date night creates a feeling of obligation and can become a potential source of resentment and guilt. Some couples actually feel the pressure between them increase. They know they’re supposed to be looking forward to the evening, whether they’re feeling up to it or not. If they try to get out of the date, they’re likely to face their partner’s disappointment: “I thought we made an agreement about this. We can’t cancel every time one of us is tired.”
As Tom, who is in couples’ counseling with his wife, expressed it, “It sounded like a great idea at first. But there’s a big difference between wanting to have a date night and having to have a date night.”