It’s time to change how we understand grief.
Grief is not only a reaction to death and loss, but also a natural part of life. Once embraced, it can help you transform into a more powerful version of yourself.
By leaning in to the transformative process of grief, Katie Rössler normalizes a topic society doesn’t discuss enough. One that when ignored, can lead to addiction, disconnection from loved ones, and increased stress.
Within these pages, Katie provides indispensable tools of support. On your grief journey, learn to turn pain into empowerment.
Why it’s time to upgrade the definition of grief
How to break the old rules of grief and create your own
What the phases of grief can offer you
Ways to heal and to use grief to help you grow
Stories of women from around the world sharing their grief experiences
Mental health issues are on the rise worldwide. Katie’s easy-to-follow steps and guidance will help you heal from your past and lead you to live a healthier and happier life.
Targeted Age Group:: 30-45
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
After the sudden loss of my mother followed by two miscarriages in 2018 and 2019, I went on a transformational grief journey. Two years later, I began to write The New Face of Grief as I noticed people around the world grieving and not recognizing what they were experiencing. Hidden grief was showing up and people didn't have outlets. This book is to help those grieving losses, changes, and adjustments that have changed their lives.
The Rules of Grief
Have you ever sat and thought about how many rules are connected to grief? Often, we become impatient with grief and ourselves because we have the shoulds of grief stuck in our minds:
This shouldn’t take so long.
This shouldn’t look this way.
Grief should last no more than a year.
You should be over it by now.
You should cry a lot when grieving.
You aren’t crying enough.
You shouldn’t cry too much.
You should stay busy when grieving.
You shouldn’t be too busy.
You should take time off.
You should move on.
You shouldn’t move on—it’s too soon.
We have created a box for how grief should look and how we are allowed to respond. Funnily enough, we tend to contradict ourselves with our rules. Cry but don’t cry too much. Stay busy but also take time to grieve. Move on but not too soon. We are excellent at being hypocritical with grief as well. Our rules don’t necessarily apply to others and vice versa. I may tell a friend “take all the time you need to grieve” but then get annoyed at myself for still grieving. Someone might tell you it’s time to move on but get angry when someone gives them the same “advice” during their process.
When we go through something that means grief will be knocking at our door, we want to turn and run away. It’s no wonder. There are too many rules for a concept that is so subjective! It’s time to put an end to the rules of grief.
When we stop telling ourselves the way to grieve and how long it should take, we free ourselves from expectations that tend to be false and keep us stuck. I remember being told, “The first year of grieving a death is the hardest.” A whole year! It was like having a death sentence of my own. Yes, the first year was tough, but the second year was too. I went into the first year with horrible expectations based on what I was told and wasn’t prepared for the way grief actually showed up in my life. Christmas came, and I held my breath the whole day. What I found was the day itself was not so bad. My family and I stayed busy with events all day, and my kids kept me laughing and playing. It was the days following that which were lest eventful that were the toughest. I expected the anniversary of my mom’s death to be a horrible day in bed. I felt such peace that day. However, it was the week before that was the hardest as I anticipated what that day would be like. The anxiety of how it would feel was often worse than what I actually felt on an anniversary or holiday.
What changed after the first year of my mother’s death was that I went into it with way more empowerment because I understood grief differently. I understood what made me sad or angry in the process, and I wasn’t afraid of grief anymore. I understood what still caused my heart to stop and panic to set in, and I knew ways to help calm myself down. I didn’t need to go through the first year of grief to learn healthy ways to grieve. Had I already known healthier ways to grieve, the first year would have come with just as much beauty as pain. I wouldn’t have held my breath so much but would have trusted myself and my ability to experience (notice I didn’t say handle) what was to come.
The rules of grief don’t work for me anymore, and I hope they won’t work for you anymore either. What if we wrote new rules for grief that gave us the freedom to experience it in our own way:
You are allowed to grieve in any way you want that is safe.
You are allowed to take time off or keep working…and that decision can change day to day.
You are allowed to wear all black or the brightest colors in your wardrobe to express how you feel.
You are allowed to cry every day, scream in anger, want to break something, want to run, want to escape, want to stay in bed for weeks, or say no to every invitation to be social.
Links to Purchase Print Books
Buy The New Face of Grief: Tranform pain into empowerment Print Edition at Amazon
Buy The New Face of Grief: Tranform pain into empowerment Print Edition at Barnes and Noble
Links to Purchase eBooks – Click links for book samples and reviews
Buy The New Face of Grief: Tranform pain into empowerment On Amazon
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All information was provided by the author and not edited by us. This is so you get to know the author better.