Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a self-help book written for people who are experiencing repeating disappointments in their love lives. This book is a product of 30 plus years of clinical research and the treatment of people with repetitive love life difficulties by Dr. Thomas Jordan, a clinical psychologist in New York City. Learn to Love is an easy-to-read guidebook that shows readers a simple and highly effective way of dramatically improving their psychological ability to form and sustain a healthy love relationship. The basic premise in Learn to Love is: by identifying what you’ve unknowingly learned about love relationships in your life, you can then unlearn what was unhealthy and dramatically improve the success of your love life. Dr. Jordan’s book describes his step-by-step method of helping people find out what they’ve learned about love relationships when it’s unhealthy, and how to change it. The ideas in this book have helped many of Dr. Jordan’s patients improve their love lives, as well as improving his own love life as he discusses in the book. Learn to Love has won four book awards and received many excellent book reviews: Nonfiction Authors Association Gold Book Award 2021; Independent Press Book Award 2021; Readers’ Favorite Silver Book Award 2020, and; New York City Big Book Award/Distinguished Favorite 2020.
Targeted Age Group:: 18-80
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
There are two reasons why I believed this book was needed. The first is the many patients I have treated over the years who were making the same painful love life mistakes over and over again in their love lives. I believe a guidebook written for people experiencing repetitive love life disappointments could show them an effective way of making dramatic improvements and avoid reaching the point of resignation.
The second reason was, the corrective changes I was able to make in my own love life as a result of my personal therapy experience. I believe that the steps I took to make the needed changes in my own love life, could be clearly spelled out in a step-by-step fashion in a guidebook for people to follow without needing to be in years of treatment. I have been happily married for more than 27 years.
This is not a book about love. This is a book about love relationships. About the relationships we form, healthy or unhealthy, when we fall in love. A healthy relationship nurtures love, an unhealthy one stifles it. Furthermore, the type of relationship you tend to form in love is not something you are born with. It is learned, consciously or not, and it’s usually unconsciously learned. That means most of us don’t know consciously what we’ve learned about love relationships.
Here’s where it gets really interesting. Consider the divorce rate, around 50% according to the latest statistics. You have a 50/50 chance of getting divorced when you marry, that’s considered no better than chance. If the relationship you form when you marry is determined by what you’ve learned in the course of your life, then, if you found out what you’ve learned about love relationships, could you then change it and learn something else? Improve your chances of finding and sustaining love beyond just chance?
This question has been on my mind for quite a long time. A long time because I did not have a ready-made answer for it. It took years of clinical research to come up with a tentative understanding and years more to find some of the indisputable facts provided in the pages of this book. The answer to the question, by the way, is a resounding yes. If you know what you’ve learned about love relationships, you can change it and improve your chances of finding and sustaining a healthy love relationship. Otherwise, what you’ve learned stays in charge of your love life, unbeknownst to you. The trouble is, a healthy love relationship may not be the objective of what you’ve learned.
Most of the time we talk about love as a coveted state of mind and heart without an understanding or even an awareness of what it takes to have and hold onto a healthy love relationship. We’ve relegated love relating to something innately given and taken for granted. We don’t bother to think that our love lives like any other important area of our lives has dynamics that are understandable and can be improved upon if necessary. I’ve learned that a big part of the problem is what we learn about love relationships in the bosom of our family of origin. If you haven’t already noticed, it has only been in recent times that our society has had the nerve to question what happens in family life and its connection to how well or unwell we feel. We used to just leave that alone.
Now that the “family of origin” is understood to be a primary source of what we’ve learned about love relationships and other important topics of interest, we can now take a closer look at this earliest of emotional classrooms and begin to understand what was learned there. Believe me, our purpose is not to aimlessly disrupt this sacred place. But to find the information we’ll need to understand and own our own love lives.
Dr. Thomas Jordan
New York City
Links to Purchase Print Books
Buy Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life Print Edition at Amazon
Buy Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life Print Edition at Barnes and Noble
Links to Purchase Audiobook
Listen to a sample of Audiobook
Links to Purchase eBooks – Click links for book samples and reviews
Buy Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life On Amazon
Buy Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life on Barnes and Noble/Nook
Buy Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life on iBooks
Buy Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life on Google Play
Buy Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life on Kobo
All information was provided by the author and not edited by us. This is so you get to know the author better.