A princess, an alcoholic vampire, and a honey badger walked into a bar… Actually, it was more of walking out of a bar. Let’s start from the beginning.
Once upon a time, there was a knight in not so shining armor who harmed more damsels than he saved, a kidnapped princess being held for ransom, a depressed unicorn searching for love, an alcoholic vampire with just a slight drinking problem, and a honey badger who was a bit of a party animal living in a world of fantasy. They must come together to battle vegan goblins, thwart the plans of trolls (that only speak Deutsch), listen to a group of passive-aggressive gnomes, and save a group of really baked tree elves in order to bring the princess home.
Targeted Age Group:: 16-35
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
Well, you have to ask yourself: how were llamas made? I mean they aren't a horse. They aren't even a donkey. How did they get such a long neck?
How Did You Come up With Your Characters?
I was meditating in this really old ancient temple up high in the mountains in remote Asia. It was there that it hit me. There was this ominous white light that shone down from the heavens. A loud, obnoxious voice screamed out, "Call him Vlad!"
“Giant!” The knight cried out in alarm.
“Half-giant,” the short bald man corrected as his crew came to see what the large man had caught. “Bill here is a half-breed, who is light on his feet. Nice job, you big galloot! Knew you were good for something!” Bill lowered the knight back to his feet for his captain to survey their new prisoner. The bald man-made his way over to the knight, jabbing him in the gut with his spoon as he studied him. “And who is this nosey wanderer doing eyeing our camp? We don’t take kindly to nosey pests, do we, boys?”
The group cackled as they surrounded the knight. “What should we do with him?” the blonde man snickered.
“Think we should cut ‘im up and throw ‘im in the stew!” The man with the hat cried as he licked his lips.
The group fell silent as the short bald man scrunched up his face. “Eww,” he snorted as he slowly turned towards his odd comrade. “Throw ‘im in the stew,” he mocked as he beat the man in the head with his spoon. “The hell is wrong with you, Rico? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we DON’T EAT PEOPLE, Rico! This is not that kind of party! Get your ass over there and watch the girl before I throw it in the fire and feed the wolves!” Rico lowered his head and walked slowly back to the tent as his bald commander turned his attention back to the knight. “Now then, what’s a nosey little prick doing in these woods?”
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