ARE YOU STRUGGLING TO TALK TO YOUR TEEN?
First, let’s be real… Who isn’t?!
Getting the Social Media Addicted Teenager in your life to actually have a conversation with you can seem more like an invitation for heavy eye-rolling. You may be feeling like your teen is fast-forwarding to the end of every conversation while silently scrolling through the latest trendy app. They then only emerge from the dark cave, known as their bedroom, to stock up on snacks and get a quick dose of sunlight. The average teenager sends over 100 texts per day and is statistically more likely to communicate with their friends via some form of messaging like snaps or DM’s versus calling them or speaking to them in person. Chapters include:
– real life hallway stories
– real quotes from teens themselves
– cartoons to help you survive having a teenager in your life
YOU DON’T HAVE TO DREAM OF A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR TEEN
A desire for an active relationship with the teenager in your life can stretch beyond the one hug a year you get from your teen at Christmas time after they receive their presents. With Nicole Rice’s e-book, Does your teen TALK? No, but they Text, Snap, & TikTok, she wants to help you achieve
– what to say and what not to say, so your teen will talk more
– what to do, so you spend more and more good times with your teen
– how to talk less and listen more, so you are a major difference in your teen’s life and when they start talking more, and showing you their astonishing self, be prepared to be blown away!
You won’t want to put this book down, and you will immediately improve not only your relationship with your teen but both of your lives now!
Targeted Age Group:: 20-65
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
I am a mom and a certified high school tech teacher. During COVID I found out from a lot of parents teaching from home that it was tougher and tougher to talk to their kids and teens with the technology glued to their life like an appendage so I wrote it all down in a book. With a touch of dry humor.
I have spent 27 years training a new set of students each fall to become the district’s expert geek squad. I spend 6 hours a day with technology and aspiring teenagers, and as they become older think their parents are outdated and “they just don’t get it.” That’s why I like providing inspiration through my new high school series with simple questions that parents or others can ask to spark a conversation with teens. The number one thing I find as teens grow up in the pace of today’s technology is that teens are actually a lot smarter than adults give them credit for if they would just listen. I have gathered quotes from teens and share them with you. Revealing that teens really do want to spend time together and talk to adults to help them survive life.
Picture this: Your teen is doing homework, listening to rap with their ear pods permanently glued to their ears, and texting the same way a starving chicken pecks at their meal. Mind you, they are doing this while simultaneously shrugging their shoulders, half paying attention when you ask them what they want for dinner. Your teen then freely scrolls through every one of your photos and reads your texts but has a panic attack if you even glance at their lock screen.
Before school, they begin to resemble the cast from the “walking dead,” agreeing that the lunch you’ve prepared is just fine, and then, sure enough they text you from school to let you know they don’t like their lunch. When they get home, they warn you, “when my friends come over, don’t ask them any more questions than you’d need to and don’t say “cool” to everything they say.”
They announce, “I’m fifteen Mom, I don’t do hugs anymore.” Slowly your in-person conversation consists only of looking through Instagram posts and saying, “um and lol.” They sit the whole car ride, eyes staring out the car window or down at their phone, and whatever comments come up, they don’t make any eye contact with you.
It can feel like your teen is replying to your text with their two middle fingers. You’ve asked them 20 times to complete one task, and then you are the nagging jerk who makes them do everything.
If this is what engaging with your teen looks like, you’re not alone. These examples are normal teen behavior, and moving past it is based on how you react to it. Yup, your reaction, not theirs. After all, you can’t plan their response, only yours. You can count on everything being overwhelming to them and each day as swinging from one mood to another. Even with each second, tempers can change. Since we can’t raise them in a cave with no electricity, keep yourself calm.
It’s all in your mindset to drop the gym shoes off agreeably, plan family time, make everything in their world vital to you too, and then watch the family stick together and talk things out. Your encouragement and ability to listen with a good outlook and caring intention about their world and their life will make all the difference in them believing in themselves. Most importantly, and what I often express to a parent when they say, “I don’t know how to talk to my teen.” I say, don’t freak out because it is more about listening and less about talking.
The fact is, texting may be the best way to communicate with your kid who is attached to their phone like it’s a new appendage. It may be the only way until you reel them back in. Teens send over 3,000 text messages a month unless you have a daughter, then it is closer to 4,000. You have a 100% chance that your teen has opened your text. They may not reply; but they will see it.
What I ask myself every fall is, how do I capture the interest of a room full of teenagers who are sneaking a text or snapping under their desk? I know that that is the most important thing on their mind as they tune me out. I’m boring compared to that. Looking at your phone is an instant dopamine rush, a lecture in school is not. The very first thing I do on day one is saying, “take out your phones,” and for those one or two that do not have phones, I have devices ready for them to log onto immediately. Those are the students that are usually hardest to reach, but in that instance, it changes. I have just opened up a connection with all students, and everyone feels like they belong in the room. We make a group that everyone becomes a member of and go over simple instructions, like making their profile emoji of themselves that will be their avatar for the class. Whatever I do, I don’t tend to watch their stories. For one, I don’t want them to block me. Second of all, I want them not to feel pressured to appeal to the teacher. Kids will post stuff we don’t always approve of; there is going to be a generation gap. The school group is for communication. I only watch if they directly say, “Hey, did you see my story?”
In my over 27 years of teaching technology and 6 hours a day with aspiring high school teenagers, I have come to realize that talking coherently and confidently is the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach throughout high school. Sometimes teens are somewhat quiet or very brief in their interactions. Every person is different, so if your child is like this, it will be alright. A great way to talk to your more reserved children is through digital communication, like text, snap, and direct messaging. Don’t overthink this part. Sure, learning some of the modern slang is nice to show them you are making an effort, but remember your experience. You’ve been a teenager before. Think back to how you were as a teen and what you did and didn’t like that your parents did. Now, apply that knowledge to talk to your teen.
We’ll talk all about this more in-depth in this book. For now, hold onto the thought that it may not be you that’s causing your child to be insecure and standoffish. It could be a multitude of reasons, including:
– they may not be fitting in at school
– they have a bad case of acne
– they like someone who doesn’t like them back
– they didn’t make the team
– they don’t have other kids messaging them on their phone
– they didn’t get a part in the school play
– their best friend just found a new best friend
– their hormones are raging
– they are failing a class
– they have nothing new and exciting to post on their social media
– they stay up all night with little sleep
– they may be helping raise their younger siblings
– they may be having to split their time between two parent’s houses
– they spend too much time comparing their lives to others on social media
– they just got a rejection letter from the college of their choice
Now it’s time to get the ball in motion, find out what’s important in their world. This book will let you know some of the best light-hearted questions to spark attention in your otherwise distracted and moody teen. Whatever you do, maintain your composure. After all, it’s not a military interrogation. Yes, you are the parent, and they do need you to lead the way nicely, but try not to repeat yourself and say the same thing in numerous different ways. Your single most important skill is to stop talking and start listening so you can find out what you are missing and what matters. When they reply, remember that teens are spent when they come home from a full day at school, so don’t expect a dissertation. Keep the questions open and light. Save the whooping conversations for the right time or when your teen is more-chill (aka, not before 8 am). For Pete’s sake, if they come to you first and want to discuss something, set your phone down and “stop drop and roll,” put it all on hold, and shut-up and listen.
Links to Purchase Print Books
Buy Does your teen TALK? No, but they Text, Snap, & TikTok Print Edition at Amazon
Links to Purchase eBooks – Click links for book samples and reviews
Buy Does your teen TALK? No, but they Text, Snap, & TikTok On Amazon
All information was provided by the author and not edited by us. This is so you get to know the author better.