How do we find lasting, trusting and fulfilling friendships? Being popular and in the spotlight? Dazzling others with your genius? Looking for that ultimate BFF? Hiding all your imperfections and trying hard to fit in?
Deep and enduring friendships are essential to our psychological and physical well-being. Unfortunately, between bullying, social anxiety, peer pressure, and other issues, many teens feel isolated.
In Dear Libby, trusted columnist, Libby Kiszner, offers a breakthrough approach to friendship and connection. You can create friendships from the inside out— rather than from the outside in. You can experience friendships as vibrant self-expression in every stage of life, making it a book that can be read and reread.
Containing seven core principles, this life-changing resource not only explains the dynamics of connections and friendships, but gives practical tools to develop them.
Integrating contemporary issues, timeless insight, real life skills, and unique perspectives Dear Libby provides a hands-on guide for dealing with everyday friendship struggles faced by teens today.
Find answers to real questions like:
•What should I do when people who are supposed to be my friends call me names or embarrass me?
•What should I do I do if I’m being ignored at school?
•What is the best way to handle loneliness?
•Someone just stole my friend. What can I do?
•What can I do when my friends get together and “forget” to invite me?
Teens and readers of all ages will gain insight and understanding to make profound, joyful relationships possible.
Targeted Age Group:: 14+
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
Over the last fifteen years, I have answered close to two thousand questions in my column Dear Libby and felt inspired to offer these questions and answers to a wide audience of readers from different cultural backgrounds.
My personal life and work are deeply infused by the belief that reconnecting with our most authentic selves inspires us to become meaningful givers, and to devote ourselves to the well-being of others.
I’m very talented and creative. I would like to use it in some way. The problem is that I don’t have any true friends, just some by the-way friends who don’t really care about me. They don’t know about my talents and won’t pick me for the type of job that needs creativity (school captain, vice-captain, class president, etc.). Can you please help me find a way to get some true friends to help me bring out my talents and use them in the right way? Talented, without Friends, almost 16
Dear Talented, without Friends,
You are raising a very important question, one that not only teens ask, but adults too. What do we do about not being seen by others? Everybody asks that question at some point in their lives.
We want other people to see us and our talents. We don’t want to remain the best-kept secret in town; we like to use our strengths and give expression to the wealth of gifts with which we were blessed.
You’re exploring how to get some true friends to help you bring out your talents, so that you get to use them. But nobody can know about your talents as much as you. So, the discovery of that search lies within you.
Like every human being, you carry innate talents that are uniquely yours. You have the ability to make a real difference in the world, whether someone picks you for a job or not. Recognizing your strengths and finding ways to use them is a responsible, challenging, and noble thing to do. But it doesn’t require others to recognize you or your talents, and it doesn’t call for impressive titles or positions.
It’s you who needs to become the expert at finding and bringing out your talents. What’s the point of other people knowing about your talents if you don’t know them? Other people recognizing your talents is not the end goal. Self-visibility is important. Before you can put your talents to use, you need to know them. Look inside yourself and identify what you naturally do best. Practice, develop, and refine those natural skills. When you use your creativity and talents, to express that which is alive in you, you will gradually carve out a role that draws on these strengths.
Pay attention to the activities that give you a feeling of being in “flow” or “in the zone,” where you feel good, you feel alive, you are in the moment. Become the observer of your life as well as the participant. Consider whether you become absorbed in a particular activity to such an extent that you lose track of time. Identify the hobbies that bring you satisfaction. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
• What qualities or talents was I born with?
• What can I do so well I can almost do it in my sleep?
• What do I find fascinating, inspiring, and uplifting?
• What can I read about or talk about nonstop?
• What skills do I have the potential to enhance and master?
“Well,” you may say, “seeing myself? That’s not enough. I want to be seen by others as well.” That’s totally understandable. You want to experience connection and connectivity. Interestingly enough, there’s something about becoming visible to yourself that seems to bolster friendships. The more you see yourself, the more others see you too.
People who have developed the ability to see themselves seem to acquire a magnetic influence that invites others to see them. Their own self-visibility makes them more visible to others. They don’t sit and wait for others to come and unfold the talents they have. In the very act of experiencing their own capacities, they carry with them a glow and a vitality, a joie de vivre, which others find intriguing, making them curious to find out what else they’ve got to offer.
Links to Purchase Print Books
Buy Dear Libby, Will You Answer My Questions About Friendship? Print Edition at Amazon
Buy Dear Libby, Will You Answer My Questions About Friendship? Print Edition at Barnes and Noble
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