When a murder takes place in the London Museum of Toys and Collectables its sexy but shy curator, Miss Heather Lovely seeks out who she thinks is a Harvard Professor but really is a bit of a simpleton that clears tables in a fast food restaurant, Robert Longdong to help her solve the case, while he just thinks he’s onto a sure thing they end up uncovering more than they bargained for, exposing a conspiracy theory created by a sinister organisation that involves changing the very shape of human existence and takes them off exploring an alternative universe to uncover a god-like children’s author. Oh yeah, and they have a few laughs on the way.
It should be noted at this point that this title is in no way like anything that a more renowned author Dan Brown has ever written, so there!
Shot from my dying home planet as a baby in an egg shaped craft I grew up with a company of wolves, learning to live as they did. Until one day the threat of the return of a naughty tiger meant I was guided out of the jungle by a jazz singing bear and into a man-village. At the village I managed to win a golden ticket to a chocolate factory where I fell into a river of chocolate and got sucked up a pipe. Things went from bad to worse when I found out that a drunken sailor in the local inn had a treasure map and I was accosted by pirates and travelled to a secret Caribbean island. After this I could take no more of my adopted parents and so I went away off with some strange bloke to a school for wizards where I thought it best to challenge a lecturer that killed my parents.
However after this my life turned around, I grew up and gave my favourite toys, a cowboy and a space ranger away to a snotty girl from around the corner and went to college. Unfortunately though I was bitten by a rare spider and found myself with special arachnid powers which I used to defeat an evil leprechaun.
Now, well, now I just write books, people say where do you get your ideas from and I tell them I have no idea, I’ve had such a boring, everyday life.